Michael Owen today announced his retirement in a self centered attempt to trend globally on twitter.
Whilst sitting at home nursing yet another injury, growing increasingly annoyed at the likes of Pope Francis and Justin Beiber constantly trending on twitter, Owen unleashed his attack.
First he sneakily updated his website, then he logged onto his favorite social media site, typed in those all so important characters, then with one fell swoop from his thumb, the news was broken.
And sure enough this outlandish PR stunt started to work. News channels began breaking the story. Then once the general public remembered that Owen was indeed still playing football, the tributes began to pour in.
Video highlights, favourite goals and a fair share of abuse started to flood twitter.
Then Michael Owen's dream came true... he was trending worldwide on twitter! Even above the Pope. "Take that Pope Francis, remember that goal in World Cup '98!? Thought so, sit down!", Owen shouted, alone on his sofa, fist punching the air.