Thursday, 7 February 2013

Neymar Officially World's Worst Player

Neymar da Silva Santos JĂșnior, has been voted* the world's worst professional footballer, based on only one performance.

100 presumably deluded and fickle football fans were questioned after the England v Brazil friendly where England beat the mighty Brazil, currently ranked 18th in the world...

People have always asked if Neymar can perform on the biggest stage, and you don't get many bigger stages than a mid-week international friendly.

As fans left the stadium they were asked to name the world's worst player, and Neymar was the name on almost everybody's lips. When asked why, people stated that he 'had a bad game', 'didn't look very good' and 'had a silly haircut'.

"Shit Player"
At the age of 21, the world's worst player has only scored an embarrassing 54 goals in 102 games for Santos and a mere 17 goals in 28 games for Brazil. He really must do better.

Why people keep selecting him is mind-boggling. We must assume that Brazil have no other attacking options to choose from.

The world's worst player even managed to score the world's worst goal last year. Just awful.

*There was no vote, this is all made up (obviously)