Saturday, 19 March 2011

Who Said Footballers Are Stupid?

After seeing the video of Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli struggling to put on not one, but two training bibs, I started to fear that he may be giving off the impression that footballers are stupid. But then I realised it's probably too late anyway...

Though it did make me think that there may be more to the job of kitman than I first thought. The one at City by the looks of things certainly needs a pay rise.

I then thought, surely no English football can be as foolish as Balotelli. After all, we are one of the greatest footballing nations, we were once part of the Great British Empire which had control on a major percentage of the world. Our educations system is one of the best in the world and our literacy rate is 99%. So surely our footballing heros must know something. Right?

Being a modern multicultural society our footballers must know a thing or two about religion.

Apparently not if you are a certain Mr David Beckham, with a cracking quote of:
"I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet."
This man is a father, has an OBE and has played for 3 of Europe's top clubs. Yet can't make the connection between Christenings and Christianity...

Never mind, I'm sure other England 'legends' can redeem Mr Beckham with their use of the poetic English language.

Shakespeare must be spinning in his grave. Phil Neville's shocking vocabulary is on full show as he fails to come up with  synonyms for 'yes' and 'no'. But then again, should we expect a great vocabulary from someone whose father is famously called Neville Neville?

But do not fear, not all England players are stupid, David James writes a column for The Observer, so there is still hope.